T-oday was tomorrow and now it's yesterday

"if i never fall in love again
that's soon enough for me.
I'm gonna lock my heart and throw away
the key."

--Billie Holiday

s-hakes, the

"sometimes you'll do anything to remember you're still alive."
-jay kirk via Brandi

someone better's gonna love you
sorry i told you lies
sleep til i die a thousand times
shoulda showed you better nights, better times, better days.

if i could articulate sitting in the dark
in my undergarments
with Pretty Wings on repeat...
I'm missing my wine
burning Night Queen would be a waste

someone's gonna love u, babe.
and one day
you wont remember me.

R-eality Check

"I know you feel like you don't have a father on Father's Day...but you do. I just missed the boat."

Q-ueen Jill

Jill Scott is the most amazing artist of our lifetime.
I don't give a fuck what NObody says.
She is amazing.
This woman has saved my life, spoke my mind, and healed my hurt more times than I can count.
I mean, she may only be relevant for women.
But who cares?
I have been missing so much for so long.
I can't wait to come up on some money lol.
I'm buying everything she's ever made.
To support her!
Jilly from Philly!
I mean, I should've already known
Anybody who makes it out of north philly breathes differently.
One of a kind
in a full house.
JILL!
I love you.
This was supposed to be poetic, but its not.
I'll just settle for the truth.

a picture is worth O-billion words...

Young African-American male wanted to feel Obama's hair to see if it felt like his. No elaboration necessary. The fact that Obama obliged does enough for my soul. This makes my spirit smile. Hang in there Black Man.

P-unk'd?

I'm praying that I didn't get punk'd by this seemingly perfect philadelphian pretending that he was prepared for the subconcious indecent proposal i was planning without my own permission.
HELP!
I was sooo ready to fall.
I actually didn't even think about it before I walked to the cliff..
It was so automatic.
so natural
that's how I knew I was ready to fall.
I knew there was a perverbial parachute.
I wasn't nervous or apprehensive at all.
I was hype to love him and to be loved back.
It's up in the air now...
not me, just it.
I was tryna be up there with it,
but he brought me back to ground level--
real quick.
i'll probably think twice this time.
at least that's the Plan.
I don't think its funny at all tho.
and I just might bash ashton's face in.

its a dark day in the life of me.
actually, its going on a black week.
i never thought it could get this cold, worn, and unforgiveable.
physically sick via mental illness.
have you met Chaka?
I did.
Not only did I meet him, I knew him.
I loved him.
I still do.
But Chaka's gone.
And with him went my smile.
my heart.
my spriit.
all of which he unconciously wrapped is little white paws around,
and held them tight.
Without sinking his claws into them.
He knew how to hold them just right.
So in his absence
I watch myself unravel.
with each thread i try to catch and pull back,
hoping he'll be attached to the other end
my stomach knots as I exhert what's left of my precious strength
because I only use it a the most necessary of times
and here i am using it to
pull this yarn
as I'd rather be pulling from a blunt laced with
anti-anxietydepressionrageandposttraumaticstressdisorder
lifted from the reality that I let another entity enter my own
meeting the fate I lived to avoid
only to meet it that much faster
at the hands of this fantastic feline
who never knew the passion he injected
and the paralysis he left behind.
Because right at this moment
you have no idea how much i just don't give a fuck.
peanut butter cookies, arizona iced tea & salt & vinegar kettle cooked
all rejected by a subject who refuses to let me fill up this feeling with the lifetime drug
that I had let hinder the time of my life
feed feed feed
the
need need need
to find the quick fix
don't face that shit
just ignore that shit, it'll go away
because the faster you run--
dont you know that's the faster you get hit?
maybe i deserved it
since katma is a bitch and i was fuckin wit her dude
im as unapologetic as they come
if you see Chaka,
let him know love will be right here.