its a dark day in the life of me.
actually, its going on a black week.
i never thought it could get this cold, worn, and unforgiveable.
physically sick via mental illness.
have you met Chaka?
I did.
Not only did I meet him, I knew him.
I loved him.
I still do.
But Chaka's gone.
And with him went my smile.
my heart.
my spriit.
all of which he unconciously wrapped is little white paws around,
and held them tight.
Without sinking his claws into them.
He knew how to hold them just right.
So in his absence
I watch myself unravel.
with each thread i try to catch and pull back,
hoping he'll be attached to the other end
my stomach knots as I exhert what's left of my precious strength
because I only use it a the most necessary of times
and here i am using it to
pull this yarn
as I'd rather be pulling from a blunt laced with
anti-anxietydepressionrageandposttraumaticstressdisorder
lifted from the reality that I let another entity enter my own
meeting the fate I lived to avoid
only to meet it that much faster
at the hands of this fantastic feline
who never knew the passion he injected
and the paralysis he left behind.
Because right at this moment
you have no idea how much i just don't give a fuck.
peanut butter cookies, arizona iced tea & salt & vinegar kettle cooked
all rejected by a subject who refuses to let me fill up this feeling with the lifetime drug
that I had let hinder the time of my life
feed feed feed
the
need need need
to find the quick fix
don't face that shit
just ignore that shit, it'll go away
because the faster you run--
dont you know that's the faster you get hit?
maybe i deserved it
since katma is a bitch and i was fuckin wit her dude
im as unapologetic as they come
if you see Chaka,
let him know love will be right here.