Kaleidescopic Karma

kaleidoscopic-rapidly changing; continually changing from one set of relations to another.
karma-bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad.

I could leave it at that
and say less is more.
but I'm compelled to do more than what's required of me--
a rarity.

It's ironic.
that the things I never used to care about,
is all that clouds my mind now.
That the situations I found myself wanting to escape from and rid myself of--
I'm wanting to be back in the midst of.
And once I get there, I'm so positive I won't remember what I was missing.
Because it wouldn't be the same.
It couldn't be.
'cause just as people do, relationships change--
time changes people, places and things.
Not to mention that peope, places and things have changed those people, places and things you remember so vividly.

I find myself in a cloud of silky smoke.
Not really trying to find my way out,
avoiding the act of inhaling it into my being
and being influenced by its questionable fabric.
I don't mind it so much.
It's almost becoming comfortable.
But only until the point when I feel like it should be cleared.
It really should,
'cause where there's smoke
there's fire
and where there's fire,
there's heat.
And the closer I get to the flame,
the more refreshing its light becomes.

And as I think back
it's still hard to know where I went wrong.
But the possibility of me going right could be much greater
and I just haven't reaped the benefits of my choices
because I feel like I've consumed all the consequences already.

Or I could just be full of myself.
I do what I can
I also do what I want
I'm only human.
Crucify me...
then you can worship me.

Beg for my forgiveness and what-not.